3 posts in one day, holy crap!

I know right? I leave you guys hanging for weeks then post 3 times in one day! read: by you guys I mean, you mom and maybe you Katie if your here out of sheer unadulterated boredom.

I just had two of the craziest NYC street experiences of my life, and all in the span of one lunch hour, thanks fate, your hysterical!

So a bum asking for a penny called me mother which I found odd being that I didn't think I looked that old nor did I resemble someone who could be his mother.

Then a man waiting at the crosswalk with me told me I made his dick hard. Is it odd that my initial reaction was to laugh rather than run?

I guess he thought I was pretty, either that or was thrown because I was wearing my short gym shorts under my long coat which created the appearance of potential nudity. Yeah, I'm gonna go with the nudity.


look what you get when you google 'female flasher'. no surprise there.

last one i promise

This is too good to not post. Also good right now? This. Awesome. New. Site.

FunnyorDie.com

youtube. yes, I know, again

So I may as well divert all viewers directly to youtube as this site has become one long chain of streaming video. Well suck it, this is the best video as of yet, please watch it all, so good.

relapse

Ever since my return from Thailand I have been on a health kick of sorts. I go to the gym furiously and have been eating healthier than I have in my life time. Which is not to say much considering my diet for the past 15 years has consisted of oodles of noodles and cheetos. At any rate I've been doing pretty damn well, that is until last night...

I met Katie for drinks at good old oharas and something totally unexpected happened, we got drunk. Oh yeah and by unexpected I mean duh.

So on my way home I decide to get a slice. Yup, I was THAT drunk girl on the train last night shovelling pizza in my face attempting to read my book and pull off some sort of air of sobriety.

But wait my friends, it gets better. I decide to stop at the 7-11 and get not one but TWo slim jims and a bag of gummie bears for good measure. The slim jims put up a good fight, but the left over pasta in my fridge did not. I awoke this morning on my couch TV a blarin' staring at a can of parmesan cheese with two gummie bears in my hair.

Is this a cry for help?

Oh and PS, what the fuck happened to out like a lamb? This blows.

mongoloids at the dmv

nothing better than dudes in virginia with time on their hands...

fastest belly button ever

You would think that with a post like this I am the most bored person in the world. Contrary to popular belief I actually do get busy at work and these past few weeks have been nutso.

But I was thinking about belly buttons and my brothers car which is an Audi at the same time, please people, why bother asking what makes me think of these things.

do you have an innie or an audi?