completely relaxing day

started with waking up after 3 drunken hours of sleep having to run 5 thousand errands before my trip, meeting family and friends for farewell lunch that started with my brother dumping his drink all over the floor table and everything else in his path, ending in a very spicy proscuitto sandwich that did not like me, said sandwhich causing me to stop at a McDonalds bathroom on the way home from Richmond and promtly barf everything I've consumed in the past three days. Seriously Geoffrey where IS the vomotorium?

Also driving the minivan letting my dad out to pump the gas apparently= my dad forgetting the nozzle and me ripping said nozzle completely out of the gas pump driving away like a maniac.

So Im not stressed at all about my 19+ hours of flight time tomorrow, Not at all.

But the gas thing was pretty funny.

I’m super convinced of my death- want anything?

So far I bequeath…

Katie= the last beers in my fridge (which is PS, ONE)

Ken= you get all my love, for me being a complete asshole to you still wanting to remain friends with me.

Joe= you get everything I left in our last place cause you pretty ,much had to move whatever I left behind anyway.

Geoffrey= my favoritest pictures cause I love you.

Lisa= everything else you win, cause basically you’re the only other person I know.

PS guys I’m scared of flying and I'm going to die.

some crap

I had particularly uneventful weekend, so much so that by Sunday night I'd had more ‘alone time’ than humanly safe. Basically I watched about 16 hours of porn, football and Scrubs episodes in two days. As long as light and sound was coming from my idiot box I was happy.

In an effort to feel less like a smelly waste of crap I washed my hair and put on mah face and walked to 7-11 to get some ginger ale.

Dear god and baby Jesus if you are still reading this and are NOT in fact slamming your head against the keyboard, well, then you are stronger than me my friend.

So I was leaving sleven and literally near tears with self loathing and unsubstantiated depression when I notice a van full of special people in the parking lot. This one special guy in the back had the hugest smile plastered across his face as he waved frantically at me. God I loved that retard so much right then, I cannot really explain how he did it, but he completely changed my entire mind. And damn if I didn’t smile so big and wave back at him. I gotta tell you it just made my week, hell I’m going to throw it out there and say it made my month.

Speaking of baby Jesus’ (should that be plural? there really isn’t more than one I guess, oh well who cares). This weeks Weekly News and World Report reports that the Czech Republic in Prague has launched an ad campaign to do away with Christmas ads featuring Santa Clause.

“In the Czech tradition, on Christmas Eve, it is the baby Jesus who flies magically into the house leaving presents not Santa. Czechs do have a St. Nicolas figure, but he comes earlier on Dec 6th. Men dress up as St. Nick or the devil and walk around town asking children to sing. If they are good they get a present if they are bad they get whacked with a devil’s stick”.

Okay, you had me at baby Jesus, but seriously St. Nick or ummm, the DEVIL? Yeah good contrast there Czech Republic. Anyone walking around in a devils suit demanding children to sing and bashing them upside their heads would be arrested in America.

All I know is that I wouldn’t turn away a baby Jesus flying through my window, or a flying Santa for that matter, and of course that sweet retard is forever welcome.