some crap

I had particularly uneventful weekend, so much so that by Sunday night I'd had more ‘alone time’ than humanly safe. Basically I watched about 16 hours of porn, football and Scrubs episodes in two days. As long as light and sound was coming from my idiot box I was happy.

In an effort to feel less like a smelly waste of crap I washed my hair and put on mah face and walked to 7-11 to get some ginger ale.

Dear god and baby Jesus if you are still reading this and are NOT in fact slamming your head against the keyboard, well, then you are stronger than me my friend.

So I was leaving sleven and literally near tears with self loathing and unsubstantiated depression when I notice a van full of special people in the parking lot. This one special guy in the back had the hugest smile plastered across his face as he waved frantically at me. God I loved that retard so much right then, I cannot really explain how he did it, but he completely changed my entire mind. And damn if I didn’t smile so big and wave back at him. I gotta tell you it just made my week, hell I’m going to throw it out there and say it made my month.

Speaking of baby Jesus’ (should that be plural? there really isn’t more than one I guess, oh well who cares). This weeks Weekly News and World Report reports that the Czech Republic in Prague has launched an ad campaign to do away with Christmas ads featuring Santa Clause.

“In the Czech tradition, on Christmas Eve, it is the baby Jesus who flies magically into the house leaving presents not Santa. Czechs do have a St. Nicolas figure, but he comes earlier on Dec 6th. Men dress up as St. Nick or the devil and walk around town asking children to sing. If they are good they get a present if they are bad they get whacked with a devil’s stick”.

Okay, you had me at baby Jesus, but seriously St. Nick or ummm, the DEVIL? Yeah good contrast there Czech Republic. Anyone walking around in a devils suit demanding children to sing and bashing them upside their heads would be arrested in America.

All I know is that I wouldn’t turn away a baby Jesus flying through my window, or a flying Santa for that matter, and of course that sweet retard is forever welcome.