Internet dating- more stories to scare my mother

I began my trials and tribulations with match.com back in January with much embarrassment and a few understandably persistent fears.

6 months later and I have neither found “a great way to a great relationship” nor have I “MindFindBinded” with anyone as promised by match.com sponsor and child molester look-a-like Dr. Phil.

I have been on about 10 or so dates, only 2 with the same person, if that tells you anything.


Let’s play a game- see if you can pick below the dates that actually took place.

1. 32 year old date told me that he was in between jobs and living with his mom.

2. Date took the cigarette out of my mouth and threw in on the ground when he was ready to leave.

3. Date threw up.

4. Date told me not to touch his chest because he just had liposuction to have his “man boobs” removed.

5. Date told me he would rather just meet and hang out at my place and not go out. Date rape propensity rating 7.5 out of 10.

6. Date told me he was 35 but looked in his mid 50’s.

7. Date was dressed like Jerry Seinfeld circa 1990, tight jeans, fitted leather jacket, big white tennis shoes.

8. Date asked me to go camping near where he docks his boat. Date rape propensity rating 9.9 out of 10.

If you guessed 8 out of 8 to be true, ding dong you win!!

Thanks Dr. Phil, you swarthy beety eyed jackal.