ambien, continuing coverage...

After my post about Ambien, and after receiving many calls from friends noting that I MUST have also called them when I was all doped up on this drug (when in fact I was just extremely drunk and alone naked in my bathtub not unlike any Tuesday) several reports on the dangers of the drug began emerging. Leave it to me to always be on the height of prescription drug abuse fashion.

While some of these stories border on the hilarious side, others are much more serious. There have been reports of people shopping online to driving their cars and not remembering because they were all cranked out on Ambien. Of course the reports of people blacked out binge eating and having sex with their partners can surely account for my recent weight gain of 85lbs and my contraction of several new STD’s, I refuse to become a slave to any drug.

I cannot understand how people become so easily addicted to these things. I take 10mg of Ambien 1 to 2 times per week to aide me in my snuggles with my man shaped body pillow, of course the other nights I spend bashing my head against the wall until unconscious but that’s neither here nor there.

Seriously, I need it.

There have also been stories of people becoming so dependent on this drug that they sell their Ambien addicted babies on the black market for more of the sleep inducing white rabbit. Okay I made that one up. But come on, when CBS news starts reporting on how people are going online and buying stoves and not remembering? That is when I start to make fun of the situation.

And a stove? At least buy something cool in your Ambien haze, like mail-order Thai prostitutes.