wino

There was a lot of left over alcohol from the last ski trip, mostly because of whiney annoying a-holes being so particular about their brand of beer; we ended up buying the entire liquor store. I won’t mention any names here but it was you Lisa, you are the whiny a-hole, Lisa.

So Monday night Amy's gigantic jug of wine and my hall closet teamed up to ruin my day.

After ever so carefully positioning the jug of wine in my boyfriend’s car I was driving, so that not a drop would spill lest he find out to what extent I am an alcoholic. I got it home and ever so carefully placed a left over case of beer in my hall closet and then ever so carefully placed the jug of wine on top of said case. At some point Monday the jug of wine decided it did not like its home and every so slightly... completely tipped the fuck over, drenching the case of beer and making every last one of my coats smell as if they had been worn by the dude who hangs out outside my office regularly peeing himself.

Yey me.

While googling the word "alcohol" which is super fun by the way, I found this pic. Drunk babies are yummy.

Candy Mountain

woops

See if you can decipher this email chain, read from the bottom up:

Fri 2:36pm- Re. Katie (my friend) to me:
“the cab driver nearly crashed I’m laughing so hard right now”

Fri 2:14pm- Fwd. Me to Katie (my friend)
“holy god, talk about getting fired”

Fri 1:56pm- Re. Katie (some woman I do not know named Katie who works in my company’s London office) to me:
“sorry wish I was in new york to get your booze for you but stuck in grey old london!!”

Fri 1:24pm- Me to Katie (my friend)
“is there a liquor store around you? can you get a medium bottle of stoli raz for tonight? if i leave my office one more time i think i am fired”


Are you there god? It’s me, retard.

seriously, whahappen