What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being on crutches.

Since you people get sadistically excited when I hurt myself which happens unceremoniously often, you will be delighted to hear that I’m in a cast on crutches.

It doesn’t suck as bad as I thought it would, and by that I mean I would rather have to sleep in a tank filled with razor blades and witch hazel every night than be on crutches in NYC.

This blows worse than the time I decided to get a Brazilian wax the night before I ran a 5K.

Aside from people being extremely nice to a gimp on the train and letting me almost always have a seat I see absolutely no benefit to this situation. Taking cabs to work every morning sucks beyond comprehension.

The moral of the story, do not run across the street, drunk, in very high heals into large pot holes.


seriously guys, this is not funny