No, you can't borrow my top

I recently decided that the only way I’m ever going to touch my principle is to get a roommate to help pay my mortgage. As all of my friends live in the city and apparently wouldn’t be caught dead in Westchester, I put an ad on Craigslist.

I was hoping for someone, male or female, perhaps a student to rent my spare room for an undisclosed period of time. I had no idea the sized can of worms to which I opened…

Here are a few examples of responses I’ve received in the last few days:


Hello,
I’m interested in the apartment you listed on Craigslist. I'm a 24-yr-old female…(blah blah blah)..I'm basically looking for a roommates/ people who are VERY gay-friendly. Hope to hear from you soon.
Best,
(name removed)

Hi:
I'm answering your request for sharing an apt. in Bronxville.
I'm a mid 50's guy, single-divorced. Please, please respond.
(name removed)

Hello,
How are u doing? hope ur fine? if so, glory be to almighty God. I saw
your Advert that u have a room/apt. to be sub-leased….
(name removed)

I saved the best for last...

Hello Tracy,
I saw your ad posted on craiglist and am very interested in your apartment.

A little about my life: I'll stay home most nights during the week since I get up early, I also like to just chill out at home on the weekends, I can veg out now and then in front of the TV, just do nothing for a day, depends on how I feel.

I'd like for us to have meals together, a glass of wine, or having a beer and watch a movie once in awhile, maybe we can go out for dinner sometimes, hanging out with you is important to me, I just don't want us to be strangers, I like that homey feeling, and roomies I can get along with.

I'm very down-to-earth, not much of a party animal anymore, the craziest I may get is to sit around on my bed watching TV in my underwear, and I like to be naked, but, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable with that, so I can keep it in my room.

I'm not at all shy, I won't be a mysterious person to you. I'm very honest about things, privacy has never been an issue with me, and I'm very open about myself.

I also enjoy good conversations, and I'm very easy to get along with, nothing really bothers me, so I'd like someone to be as easy going as I am, we can always kick back with a glass of wine, beer or coffee and talk about anything.
Anything else you want to know? Just ask me.
If you want to tell me something about you? Feel free to add anything that you think I should know upfront, for me, it's all about honesty and trust in any share situation.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.(name removed)