I'll take two halloweens sir, we can skip Christmas

Part Uno*
Here at Waughco everyone knows how much I love Halloween and go to great lengths every year to capture its deliciousness with the most cleverly devised costume evAR.

If my costume ideas were tangible ingredients they would be vanilla smelling rainbows and puppies made of gold.

I became world renown with everyone who was in my apartment the night I dressed as Macho Man Randy Savage. Shit I even dressed as my MOM. That’s hawt.

Last year I was a hit at our office Halloween party with my version of a child molesting Gene Shallot if he were a basketball player. Sounds complicated I know, but somehow it just worked.

Unfortunately I did not take home the grand prize at the costume contest, another employee who had recently become an SVP won with her rendition of a witch. As I was saying, the party was a success everyone got wasted and…..wait, what? Did I just say “witch”? You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

That’s right folks, this genius disguised as a……witch. Won. First. place.

I’ve had more creative ideas when I was six and wore a brown paper bag as a shirt and told everyone I was a wookie. And this chick is a witch? Congratulations captain obvious.

So it’s getting harder each year to top myself and this year was no lesser battle. I’ve been wracking my brain for months and could not get a hold on anything funny enough. But at the last minute with the help of a friend we will call Rob, cause that’s his name, many many beers, which just happened to be lying around, and extensive internet research of sub-critical preemptive nuclear testing and Czechoslovakian porn, cause I got bored; I finally came up with what I will call the-best-costume-in-the-room-at-least. Kim.

A few worth honorably mentioning has to go to my partner in crime, uh THE Hulk Hogan and Tara Reid's botched boob job.

Click here to view all the pics.

* This is par Uno because I’m going to rule the school on Tues night at my work partay and win! Or so we shall see, cross your fingers for me...

UPDATE
Part Deux
Not much to say except I did not win. But not for lack of effort. Apparently no one sent me the memo that said this years party was not dress up. So I was the only one in costume. It was funny until I started crying and ran home to my stuffed animals.

date rape is fun

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being on crutches.

Since you people get sadistically excited when I hurt myself which happens unceremoniously often, you will be delighted to hear that I’m in a cast on crutches.

It doesn’t suck as bad as I thought it would, and by that I mean I would rather have to sleep in a tank filled with razor blades and witch hazel every night than be on crutches in NYC.

This blows worse than the time I decided to get a Brazilian wax the night before I ran a 5K.

Aside from people being extremely nice to a gimp on the train and letting me almost always have a seat I see absolutely no benefit to this situation. Taking cabs to work every morning sucks beyond comprehension.

The moral of the story, do not run across the street, drunk, in very high heals into large pot holes.


seriously guys, this is not funny

TGIIBF

Every Friday this Indian guy at my office says to me in the kitchen, "Oh I am so glad that it is being Friday".

Not that funny sounding but it makes me laugh everytime.