I'm never going to the gym during lunch again

I just had the craziest lunch hour. I decided to grab a quick workout so my gigantic ass will be slightly less gigantic for Palm Springs next week. Afterwards I stopped at the Duane Reade for some incidentals where I was witness to a most frightening scene which I can consider amusing only now that I am sitting safely at my desk.

I was in the back near the mouth herpe medicine (for a friend!!) when I heard screaming at the front of the store. I walked up the aisle to get in line when a shopping basket came hurling towards my head. I stepped out of the way just in time nearly knocking over a entire nail polish display.

An extremely strung out looking man and woman were brawling with two male cashiers. They had apparently been attempting to shop lift when the workers confronted the couple and all hell broke loose.

It was insane; they were shouting obscenities and throwing anything that wasn’t nailed down at the employees. The two cashiers, I must say, were pretty brave. Finally after every shopping basket had been thrown one cashier threw an umbrella from a nearby rack to the other cashier and they were able to chase the wanna-be crooks out of the store. All the while I stood with about 6 other onlookers not knowing what to do but stand around in shock and maybe blog about it later.

A few minutes after the melee the crack head woman came back, opened the door, shouted “You aint shit!” to the cashier and proceeded to throw a hot dog at him. She had left earlier to go buy a hotdog from the street vendor only to come back and throw it at the cashier. Classic.

You always wish, later of course, that you could have stepped in and saved the day. I would have loved to grab a can of Raid or something such similar to mace and sprayed the would be attackers while kicking them out the door and calming the fearful shoppers. Of course they could have easily knifed me, but really whats more exciting than almost dying, right?

Then when I thought the day couldn’t possibly get any better I saw on the walk back to my office, two gigantic lesbians passionately making out in front of Penn Station.

A nice normal afternoon in the city.

"Everyday" by Noah K. music by Carly Comando

Sweater revisited

Due to popular demand, the sweater story has returned.



The Original Adventures of Scotts Sweater

UPDATE (scott is still gay)

No, you can't borrow my top

I recently decided that the only way I’m ever going to touch my principle is to get a roommate to help pay my mortgage. As all of my friends live in the city and apparently wouldn’t be caught dead in Westchester, I put an ad on Craigslist.

I was hoping for someone, male or female, perhaps a student to rent my spare room for an undisclosed period of time. I had no idea the sized can of worms to which I opened…

Here are a few examples of responses I’ve received in the last few days:


Hello,
I’m interested in the apartment you listed on Craigslist. I'm a 24-yr-old female…(blah blah blah)..I'm basically looking for a roommates/ people who are VERY gay-friendly. Hope to hear from you soon.
Best,
(name removed)

Hi:
I'm answering your request for sharing an apt. in Bronxville.
I'm a mid 50's guy, single-divorced. Please, please respond.
(name removed)

Hello,
How are u doing? hope ur fine? if so, glory be to almighty God. I saw
your Advert that u have a room/apt. to be sub-leased….
(name removed)

I saved the best for last...

Hello Tracy,
I saw your ad posted on craiglist and am very interested in your apartment.

A little about my life: I'll stay home most nights during the week since I get up early, I also like to just chill out at home on the weekends, I can veg out now and then in front of the TV, just do nothing for a day, depends on how I feel.

I'd like for us to have meals together, a glass of wine, or having a beer and watch a movie once in awhile, maybe we can go out for dinner sometimes, hanging out with you is important to me, I just don't want us to be strangers, I like that homey feeling, and roomies I can get along with.

I'm very down-to-earth, not much of a party animal anymore, the craziest I may get is to sit around on my bed watching TV in my underwear, and I like to be naked, but, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable with that, so I can keep it in my room.

I'm not at all shy, I won't be a mysterious person to you. I'm very honest about things, privacy has never been an issue with me, and I'm very open about myself.

I also enjoy good conversations, and I'm very easy to get along with, nothing really bothers me, so I'd like someone to be as easy going as I am, we can always kick back with a glass of wine, beer or coffee and talk about anything.
Anything else you want to know? Just ask me.
If you want to tell me something about you? Feel free to add anything that you think I should know upfront, for me, it's all about honesty and trust in any share situation.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.(name removed)

my new best friend

I love youtube.





*warning- this one is long, but worth it*

hello

Can my "best fan ever" please reveal themselves. I have a sneaking suspicion who it could be but I’ve been wrong in the past. Very wrong.

I’m only curious due to the fact that I have only about 7 or 8 readers.

So who are you anyway?