OfficerButtBaby on the red carpet

I recently volunteered at the Tribeca Film Festival.

If you call volunteering showing up then immediately leaving.

I arrived for my scheduled shift wearing what I thought would be appropriate attire for selling low budget movie tickets. Flip flops a t-shirt and a hippy skirt. Comfy yet chic, no?

No.

The entrance was a freakin RED CARPET. While I didn't recognize anyone as being particularly famous, there were paparazzi everywhere, flashbulbs going crazy.

I must have looked like some red-neck homeless person.

DuHUH, where do I go where do I go?

bonds sucks

Barry bonds. Ugh, can I gouge my eyes out yet?

Unless my dreams come true and Barry Bonds gets dismembered in the next two months, it looks like he will surpass the great Hank Aaron to a home run record victory. And when that happens I will slowly stab the person nearest me.

Don’t you hate it when good things happen to bad people? No one likes a shit head especially a shit head that can out run, out hit, and out play everyone in the world.

Barry Bonds has been crushing records since the early 90’s and is set this year to beat Babe Ruth’s record of 714 home runs and very possibly Hank Aarons record of 775. Bonds is also ranked among the Most Hated Sport Figures in History second only to Terrell Owens. Sports writers and media prey on Bond’s inability to produce cohesive sentences and tendency to weep like a cancer ridden puppy during interviews.

When he is not whining like a woman he comes across as a self centered prick who likens himself to gods gift to baseball, and the world for that matter.

I never knew steroids produced such womanly tears you fat baby.

Barry Bonds, named 2006’s Biggest Asshead in the history of MLB by OfficerButtBaby.

Check out the Daily Show clip on Bonds- http://www.funlol.com/funpages/barry-bonds-steroids.html