good costume idea turns bad

If you know me you know that I am a Halloween freak and love coming up with stupid costumes and going to Halloween parties.

What I hate most are girls who use this holiday as a reason to dress like uncreative sluts.

There is nothing neither funny nor interesting about a slutty witch, a slutty vampire, or a slutty cat. Sure boobs may be fun to look at, but laughs are better attention.

One year I decided to make costumes for my now ex-boyfriend and myself for this party we were attending. (Not only did my ex not wear the costume I made for him, he ruthlessly made fun of me the entire night.)

I took a large box cut out two holes in opposite sides and one hole in the top. I painted the box white then painted black dots in appropriate places. I put it over my head put my arms through the holes and was transformed into a very large and very uncomfortable die.

Well, we were supposed to be a pair of dice, but I was by myself, a die.

It looked ridiculous and therefore made me laugh. It never occurred to me how hard I would make people laugh, at me- all night. I soon discovered the most tragic flaw in this costume. I could not lift my arm high enough for my hand to reach my mouth, thus creating a horribly scary and life threatening situation. I was physically unable to drink. It took several hours and many inventions but I was finally able to drink tall boys using three straws taped together with little effort.

My friends thought it would be hilarious to shove me over and over into the wall. Thus began the game of craps, or crap in this case. It didn't hurt until the next day when I woke up in a box on the couch.

No. Way. You girls are sooooo creative!